WARSAW CALLING.

Tuesday, April 05, 2016


Elu tõesti käib kummalisi radu pidi. Ühel päeval tundsin end oma asjadega igati rappa jooksnuna ning teisel lahendas üks pisike e-mail sootuks kõik just nagu iseenesest ära. Aeg, mida viimasel poolel aastal nõnda palju kätte oli jäetud, sai ühtäkki otsa ning algas võidujooks selle nimel, et kõik oluline nähtud ja tehtud saaks, enne veel kui kodumaa tolm teadmata ajaks jalge alt pühin. 

Nõnda istungi siin Riia lennujaamas ning ootan kannatamatult pea ees tundmatusse vette hüppamist. Ja kui eile, mil pooleldi pakkimispaanikast halvatuna veel mõtlesin, et mida kuradit ma küll teen, siis täna on lood juba sootuks teised ja südamesse on end istutanud kerge ärevusenoot. Muidugi on hinges hirm ning suur teadmatus kõige selle osas, mis Eestis nii tuttav ja kodune on, kuid ehk nii ongi hea. Saab viimaks jälle sellest neetud mugavustsoonist välja ja midagi sellist kogeda, mis igatepidi kasvatab ja elavana tundma paneb. Midagi, millele mingil hetkel elule tagasi vaadates uhke tunne rinnas suureks paisub ning pähe tuleb mõte, et mina tegin seda kõike. Ees ootab uus omamoodi seiklus, mille kulgu ei suuda mitte kuidagi ette ennustada. Ehk on see minu kord "särada". 

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Life really has its bizarre ways. One day I felt completely stuck with my things and on the other a small e-mail changed and solved everything. Just like that. The time, which I thought to have so much of in my hands, suddenly ran out. It actually felt like a small race in order to see everyone dear to me for the last time and get all important things checked off my to-do list before leaving. 

So I sit here in Riga airport and wait impatiently the moment I take a leap of fait and dive into the unkown. Although yesterday, when being in the middle of a minor packing panic attack, I thought that what the hell am I doing, then today has been already a lot different. Even though I feel still anxious and nervous, but then again a lot more excited too. Of course I have this tremendous fear and feeling of not knowing enough about it all in me, but maybe that is a good thing after all. It gives me a chance to jump out of this damned comfort zone and actually do something with my life that will leave a mark behind. Something that I can look back on in the future and say: I did this. It will be a new and one of a kind adventure awaiting me. May it be my time to "shine". 

Picture: pinterest

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4 comments

  1. Mis Sa tegema lähed sinna? Tahtsin just üks päev küsida, kas Sa kohvile ei taha minna :(

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  2. Tead, tööle/elama asun. Kuid kui Eestisse tulen, siis lähme kohvile! Oleks aeg!
    Ja kui Poola satud, anna teada! Saame kokku. :)

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  3. Exactly. You did this! Just on your own! It doesn't matter if it's going to be great or awful (but we really don't hope for that!!!!!) - you did something. And that's everything matters. :) I'm so proud of you! And I hope you will learn as much as me, when i left my home for five years ago.
    I send you tons of love, my dear, and a big hug!

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    Replies
    1. Your words mean so much to me my dear! Although my journey kicked off with an evacuation in Warsaw airport (haha...), I hope to experience it all. You know what I mean. Hugs and kisses. I hope we see each other soon!

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