This year...

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Olen siin- ja sealpool internetti igasugu uue aastaga seotud lubaduste postitusi näinud ja lugenud ning see on mind pahaaimamatult kaasa pannud mõtlema. Ma ei ole ausaltöeldes juba aastaid enda jaoks uue aastanumbri saabudes mingeid kindlaid eesmärke seadnud, pigem kipun neid tegema hetkedel, mil iseendaga ummikusse olen jooksnud. Kuid 2017 on endaga kaasa toonud mingi teistsuguse tunde, mis mind palju eesootavatele kuudele on pannud keskenduma. Just nagu tegemist oleks aastaga, kus pean pühendama aega nendele asjadele, mille olen millegipärast unarusse jätnud ning kõigile nendele, mida olen juba ammu tahtnud teha, kuid mis suurest ajapuudusest, laiskusest või motivatsioonipuudusest tegemata on jäänud. Ja kuigi ma ei luba, et kõikidest nendest asjadest, mida kirja panen, sajaprotsendiliselt kinni pean, on tore omada mingit raamistikku asjadest, mida huviga oodata. 

The time of the year has come where one can find a tremendous amount of these symbolic new year resolutions/promises posts has exploded all over the internet. Many have caught my eye and have made me think along, putting more focus on my own life and things I would like to accomplish this year. Truth to be told, I haven't set any such resolutions that come along with the year changing to myself for a long time. I tend to do that more on random moments, like when I feel I have run into some kind of a rut with my life. But 2017 has brought upon a different kind of feeling in me, which has made me focus on the upcoming months. As if this is the year where I need to dedicate time on all those things I have for some reason been neglectful of and all of those, that I have wanted to do already for so long, but which have been forgotten out of lack of time and motivation, and lets not forget the good old laziness. I am not promising to fulfill everything I write down here, but it is anyway so nice to see some kind of framework of things to look forward to forming in front of my eyes. 


Foto: Elise Ader
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1. Ole iseenda vastu hea. Ma olen üks nendest inimestest, kes nii tihti endale suured ootused üles seab. Nii lihtne on ju asju oma peas ette kujutada, kuid pahatihti on seda raskem kõiki neid ootusi ja lootusi ka täide viia. Ma ei ütle, et oleks halb unistada ja enda jaoks eesmärke seada, kuid see ei tähenda, et peaks seepärast iseenda vastu karm olema, kui kõik nii ei lähe nagu plaanitud. Küll iga asja jaoks tuleb oma aeg. Ja kui mitte praegu, siis ehk hiljem?

1. Be more kind to myself. I am one of those people, who tends to set up high expectations for myself. It is so easy to imagine all these big and amazing things taking place in my head, but then again it seems to be more difficult to make them all happen as well. I am not saying that dreaming and setting goals for yourself is a bad thing, not at all, but this doesn't necessarily mean being harsh to myself if things don't go my way. I believe there is a time meant for everything in this life. So if it does not happen now, maybe later, huh?

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2. Hoolitse rohkem oma tervise ja heaolu eest. Ma ei ole vist päris pikka aega nii haige olnud, kui olin seda 2016. aastal. Tulles praegugi taas ühe jalaga tüütust haigusetsüklist välja, millest esialgu nädalate kaupa ise suure jõuga jagu üritasin saada, on pannud mind nii palju iseendale mõtlema. Olen muutunud laisemaks ning tubasemaks, kui olin varem, ning see ei tee mind sugugi rahulolevaks. Ma olen muidugi ülimalt õnnelik, et mul ei ole mingeid tõsiseid terviseprobleeme ja soovin südamest, et see nii ka jääks. Kuid selleks pean enda eest rohkem ja paremini hoolt kandma. Rohkem toast välja minema, end rohkem liigutama, paremini ning teadlikumalt sööma ning ka rohkem naeru ja positiivsust ei teeks paha! 

2. Take better care of your health and welfare. I haven't been this sick as I have been in 2016 for many, many years. And as I am getting out of an annoying cycle of sickness as we speak, which has been going on for weeks, it has made me think a lot about myself. I have definitely become more lazy and indoorsy as I was before and that does not leave me be very pleased with myself. I am of course utterly happy to not have any serious health issues and I truly hope it to also stay this way. But for that to happen, I need to take better care of myself. Go outdoors a lot more, be more active, eat better and more consciously and I believe a bit more laughter and positivity wouldn't do harm either!

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3. Naudi hetki, mitte asju. Omaenda sissetulek ja vabadus seda kulutada nii kuidas hing ihkab on pannud mind rohkem mõtlema sellele, kuidas ma oma raha kasutan. Kuigi ma olen olnud oma raha planeerimisega võrdlemisi tubli, kipun ma siiski priiskama seda asjadele, mida mul tegelikult vaja ei lähe. Niisiis, sel aastal loodan ma oma raha kulutada hetkedele, mis mulle midagi juurde annavad või õpetavad, mitte materiaalsetele asjadele. Tahan reisida rohkem (!), minna rohkematele kontserditele ning etendustele, kohtuda rohkem oma sõpradega mõnes hubases kohvikus hea kohvitassi taga jne. Kui ma nii või naa oma raha lõpuks ära raiskan, siis sooviksin ma seda teha targalt. Nii, et elu ikka õpetaks. :) 

3. Enjoy moments, not things. Having my own income and freedom to spend it any way I want has made me more conscious of how I use my money. Even though I have been rather careful with it and like to plan how I use my salary rather well, I still tend to buy too many things I don't need. So, for this year, I hope to spend it more on moments that lift me up spiritually and not on materialistic things. Save up to travel more (!), go to more concerts and shows, meet up more with friends over a cup of coffee in a nice cafe etc. I want to feel and explore more. So if I will spend my money anyway, I would like to spend it wisely. So that life could teach me a thing or two!

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4. Osale täispikal jooksumaratonil. Kuigi minu viimasest poolmaratonist või mis iganes jooksuüritusest on juba omajagu aega möödas, olen endas leidnud taas motivatsiooni ja kire jooksmise vastu. Ja see on mu jaoks niivõrd oluline, et ei suuda sõnadessegi panna! Täispikal maratonil osalemine on olnud minu soovinimekirjas juba pikemat aega, kuid siiani pole ma endas seda julgust või valmidust leidnud, et asi viimaks ka ette võtta. Kuid nüüd tunnen, et aeg on käes see asi ka ära teha. Nii et kui kõik hästi läheb, näeb mind loodetavast septembris jooksurajal. Enne veel aga panen end uuesti proovile poolmaratonil. Kirja ma ennast juba panin ja ehk suudan märtsi lõpus siinsamas Varssavis oma soovitud aja ka viimaks kinni püüda! 

4. Run a marathon. Although it has been quite a long time since my last half-marathon or any kind of running event, I have found again motivation and passion in myself to pick up running. That means so much to me that I cannot even put it into words. Running a full length marathon has been in my bucket list for a longer time now, but so far I have not found the courage or readiness in me to actually do it. But now I feel the time has come and I might as well do it. (Crazy). So, if all goes well, I hope to see myself running it in September. Before that I will challenge myself again in March, when I try to finally catch my goals in a half-marathon, right here in Warsaw. 

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5. Mine puhka rannas. Siiani olen olnud suures vaimustuses erinevate linnade külastamisest, kuid nüüd tunnen, et tahaks hirmsasti kuskil soojas lesida, ilma, et ükski kohustus kuklasse hingaks, liiv mõnusasti varvaste vahel ning päike nahka paitamas. Niisiis tuleb üks suurem palmi alla minek ette võtta. Ja mine tea, ehk suudan siin mõnusa linnamelu koos rannaga ühendada. 

5. Have a beach holiday. So far I have always loved to visit different cities for holiday purposes, but now I feel I could really use feeling some sand between my toes and sun kiss my skin. So I will try to do my best to go on a real holiday. And who knows, maybe I can somehow make a nice city merge with the beach as well.

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6. Õpi midagi uut. Pean siinkohal suures osas silmas erialaseid teadmisi. Tahan teada rohkem nende asjade kohta, millega tööalaselt kokku puutun ning mõned väikesed lisaoskused ei tee siinkohal paha. Niisiis tahan muuhulgas ette võtta Code Academy ning Google Analytics Academy tasuta kursused. Samuti tahan rohkem aega pühendada poola keele õppimisse. Kõik see, mis siiamaani külge on hakanud, on igati hea, kuid tunnen, et kui ise ka juurde õpiks, oskaksin rohkem! 

6. Learn something new. I suppose I mean here more the knowledge that has something to do with my field. I want to know more about the things I have contact regarding my work and some small extra skills wouldn't do any harm. Also I want to spend a bit more time to learning Polish. All the things I have caught and learnt on the go are good, but I feel if I actually learnt something, I could speak more! 

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7. Planeeri, kuid ole ka spontaanne. Mirjam just kirjutas hiljuti oma blogis, kui väga talle meeldib rutiin ning siinkohal pean nõustuma sellega, kui palju efektiivsem ning rahulolevam ma olen, kui mu igapäevane elu omab mingit kindlat rütmi. Kuid sealjuures ei taha ma ära unustada neid hetki, kui spontaanselt midagi uut, huvitavat ja päevakava välist ette võtan. 

7. Plan, but also be spontaneous. I am truly a sucker for planning things and I am one of those people whom a good daily routine makes so much more effective and satisfied. But even though I like a steady rhythm, I don't want to forget about all those moments that grow out of spontaneous decisions. So, more of that too, please!

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Ilmselt võin kokkuvõttes öelda, et soovin, et 2017 oleks minu aasta. Tahan keskenduda iseendale ja enda parandamisele. Juhtusin vaatama "The young pope'i" ning tuleb tunnistada, et mingil kummalisel sisemisel tasandil, ärge küsige miks, suutis see sari mind liigutada. Pani mõistma, et keskendun liialt õnnelikkuse leidmisele teistest inimestest sõltuvana ja et see ei vii kuhugi. Nii et nüüd olengi teekonnal, mille lõpus loodan leida siira õnnelikkuse iseenda seest, ümbritsetuna kõigist nendest vahvatest asjadega, mis rõõmu valmistavad, ja inimestega, kes hingele head teevad. Ja nii ongi.

I suppose all in all I wish 2017 to be my year. I want to focus on getting better being me. I happened to watch The Young Pope and I must admit, this show managed to move me on some inner deeper level, don't even ask my why or how. It made me realise that I focus too much on finding happiness being dependant on the people around me and it leads to nowhere. So now I am on a journey that I hope will lead me to finding sincere happiness within me. While being surrounded by all these things that bring me joy and also people that do good for the soul. And that is it. 


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